Medusasvalue1 Going Forward

This is going to be a serious straightforward post but ironically it may make less sense than my other posts and it may also be way more boring. So..usually I can deal with activity around me while I'm in my fishbowl that I live in..it's a huge SUV..OK not bragging although my family by blood and marriage that I see with my eyes in person often seems to think it's too good for me. She drives a 2014 mustang or newer...it rumbles up and down the road like a diesel engine on steroids without the annoying whistle. My truck is falling apart and I hear with my ears her make allusions to me hitchhiking, that I need certain things in case I end up walking, and I believe I heard her say something about my truck breaking down.  Meanwhile, my step brother who lives with her and my Father along with another sibling and 2 sometimes 3 of her grown children in a 4 bedroom one bath home( I stay in my truck on the street by their house at night and try to make myself scarce during the day)T...

 I did use to do these Xmas jokes for Frank, I miss him so much. We enjoyed my jokes together. Now he is in heaven, with his wife. I miss him. Hi to anyone out there in la la land. Christmastime sucks. People are grumpy like they have slivers in their nails. They act like they have cucumbers lodged up their butter and catappillers tickling their noses. Maybe they should fry an egg and have the satisfaction of killing a baby chicken. Maybe they should go rollerskating in the snow and learn what a real problem is. Their time is there time like they got their panties all in a wad. Try fitting down a spot filled chimney in a white trimmed outfit with a sack of toys.. now there is a real wedgy. Oh and it's like, something positive happens for me and everyone on gods Green earth wants to furl their lip at me and do a hackjaw behind my back and talk out the side of their mouth like I'm deaf. Meanwhile my mechanic has seemed to fallen into a black hole in the universe of dancing snowm...

 Goodbye Jerry, You used to be sweet to me and now our time is gone. You moved on and now me too. I will miss our good days but our bad days I will not. I hope you find happi1ness and I hope I find salvation and happiness. My heart feels cold as a small black stone. I am not experiencing love from my family but I press on. Pressing on until the road ends from beneath my feet. My dog( was our dog) is feeling ways I don't understand but I am trying to care for him and keep him happy. Right now now I just want a cup of coffee and big hug from someone. I thought I was done crying as the tears are welling up in my eyes. One day I hope God can forgive me for my behavior and one day I hope to see jesus...maybe the mere thought of him will bring a mind hug to me and I can hug myself because Noone else wants to. You had your chance and you moved to where you thought things were brighter and more beautiful. Were they? I have to say my mornings have been more peaceful alone with just my pup. ...